


Proposal

by shadowhearted



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drabble, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 07:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17721239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowhearted/pseuds/shadowhearted
Summary: Do not expect your pearl to say yes when you yourself have filth.





	Proposal

As long as his light is there will he continue to see light. He loves the calm in the other's peace, the warmth of his embrace, the good he sees in things, the vision in his speech, the steady, unwavering paths out of which he carves, despite obstacles and hardships in his past and present and every now and then. He loves him inside and out, and he realizes, this is the feeling of love: a sunshine beyond words, warmer than the sun, fiercer than any fire. It makes him care tenfold of the others' wellbeing; everytime a lack in his smile or a small tousle of his hair make him worry. When the two lean into each other, side by side, he was stabbed by the same old word barricading themselves apart from any further intimacy, shackling their hands and lips.

_Friends._

And so, one day, after rehearsals (and silly accidents inflicted in the process), ensuring privacy and freedom for the other's response — it is a basic decency to give the other comfort at all times — in a well tailored shirt, he kneels on one knee, reveals the ring in his box, and proposes,

"Renji Yomo, will you marry me, Uta?"

He gazes at the Raven's face before lowering his eyes, as staring may elicit a less honest response, but not before perceiving surprise and hesitation in the other's expression. And still, one second, two seconds later, silence lasts. Five seconds later, and nothing changes. Out of the plain white shirt, Uta sees his arm move before drooping back in its spot. This kind of silence would make humans feel awkward, so it is less likely to be positive. He dares one glance — just one millisecond glimpse — and sees the other smiling. It is genuine and warm, though it does not entirely reach his eyes: a mixed emotion. A turmoil. A shadow in his eyes. Why isn't he answering?

Because he was thinking, considering his proposal. But of what? And why? What happens if he asks and prods? He would be fine if Renji says no, if yes even better. Either answer would be fine. But behind every A and B there is always a C. What is the C? What else would Renji need to consider? Nothing? Then why is he still in turmoil and conflict? What is stopping him? When choosing significant others, humans would examine the others' backgrounds, like wealth and character, to evaluate their compatibility. But there is nothing for ghouls, because their social rights and constructs, long stripped away, have just begun rebuilt.

And then Renji responds, just because he feels he has hesitated too much for his friend:

"No more pranks?"

"That I can't say."

"... I would love to ... marry you."

Uta's waiting hands lower; he is suspending them for too long. He knows Renji has more to say than he seems.

"But?" he presses.

"Let me think about it."

His heart is heavy as he stands up and snaps his box close and pockets it, for disappointment at everything not going as he has hoped, but a part of it more suspicious, because that is all Renji has said.

"OK," he replies, making sure his tone is unconcerned and carefree, not wanting Renji to feel forced.

"See you later."

"See you." He steals a last glance before going away. A flicker of guilt is what he just saw.

 


End file.
